A Recent Rant

I wrote this on a mainly american link farm last night, it was in response to an article someone had posted on the resurgence of white power groups (they've grown dramtically in the past few years)

There's this horrible, terrible climate of fear and hate in the world. And I guess I'm feeding it right now, just by hating it back. It's not just your country. It's everywhere. Most of you already know, I'm a white South African. Now, those of you who didn't know that, or haven't seen me post or comment before, ask yourself, what do you think of me? Having never met me or spoken to me, what is the initial impression you have of me in your mind? I'm a racist, bigoted scum bag who enjoyed the fruits of Apartheid on the backs of black people. Now, what if I told you I was 14 years old when Apartheid ended (14 year olds make poor revolutionaries, especially when they don't even know there's one going on). That I had a coloured (that's an acceptable word where I'm from, it means of mixed race descent) girlfriend when I was 13, in 93. That, most young people didn't even know what Apartheid was because its darkside was censored from us and kept out of the news. We didn't even know we'd invaded Angola. Now, skip forward to today. White people make up a tiny proportion of the population, 17%. Yet we still hold many of the top earning jobs... why? Because we could study in our own language and had the same opportunities that many of you enjoy in your own countries. Hence, white people serve as the high-end skills basis for the country. I don't think white people are cleverer, I just think we were given far more opportunities than were ever given to black people, pre 1994. At the same time, the government has issued it's affirmative action and BEE (Black Economic Empowerment) policies, which makes it basically illegal to run a company that is not representative of the country (no black people, no government contracts.). So companies are either lucky, and they find a suitably skilled, qualified black candidate, or they hire window dressing. The ANC were an excellent agent of revolution and change, but in my opinion, they make a terrible government (Ignoring, may he live forever, Nelson Mandela's initial presidency). White people are leaving in droves, and with them, the skills sorely needed to keep the country running. Most of my circle of friends have already left for the UK and Australia. I'll be leaving in June. And the reason for the awfully long, 11:56pm comment is this: I feel ashamed talking about these things. I feel ashamed for speaking on behalf of white people. White -South African- people. I feel ashamed that I don't think I'll ever be considered African by anyone, black or white (are black people in America not considered American? And no I'm not going to start calling myself 'European African'). I feel ashamed for leaving, and I feel ashamed for staying. Here's a link to a story about 8 white kids that were, apparently, thrown off a bus because they were white. Click And here's a link to an updated article, published later in the day, with a response from the company. Click There is still a lot of hate, coming from both directions, in this country/world. And this, finally, is about how Afrikaans bands are starting to create 'Afrikaans/white consciousness' music, for want of a better world (how Freudian of me.) It probably says what I've been trying to say for the past few paragraphs a lot better than I did. How do I be proud of who I am, without making others think I'm not equally proud of who they are? Click My greatest fear is that I start thinking like these closed minded, paranoid, bigoted assholes in the topic. I will leave before I ever allow that to happen. I would die before I ever allowed it to happen. Because even if I am hated by some people, both white and black, I fucking well refuse to hate back. Apologies for the long post.